It's interesting how your posts on the unhoused in Brattleboro jibe with a lot of Buddhist stuff as well. When a writer writes on real things, you wonder how attached he or she is to the result and I see you are attached to the people you write about who are living out on the margins. Buddha talked negatively about attachments, but attachments to people aren't so cut and dry, especially when you know you might be able to help. It's a tough call.
I volunteer with and help people who are or were on the margins of their own lives due to addiction, and I often wonder who is there to really REALLY understand their stories. It's part of why I write my own Substack.
Hi Jesse: I started to reply to this at one point but don't think I ever hit send. So sorry if this is kind of a repeat.
Many thoughts, but I guess the biggest surprise for me when "my veneer of radical acceptance began to crack" was that it
1) wasn't about how people spent the money (I was a little rueful about how much dope I probably "bought" but that's all), nor
2) was it about how they seemingly kept recycling to the same situation. But far be it from me to project what their lessons are this lifetime. I'm not sure exactly if you were responding to that last post in the series [https://davidblistein.substack.com/p/56-i-need-a-break] where I basically itemized all the things that pissed me off about my friends on the street. Pissed off yes. But not particularly attached to that feeling annoyance. No, the real "deal breaker" for me was
3) Recognizing that there wasn't a degree of reciprocity in our relationship that I felt "I had earned". I knew they were lying. I knew they often used the money for dope. But it was the fact that I was, ultimately, just a guy who had money to them. In the midst of all my talk about how it's time to stop "othering" the unhoused, I myself was being "othered."
That was the real source of my resentment [i.e., indication of my attachment.]...that I wasn't special to them. Like I said. Just another "rich guy" who was "kinda okay"
Hey David I can relate to that. We often have people come in where I volunteer and they try and game the system by trying to hang out and treating our center as a place to get coffee and bum cigarettes off people. When we see people come in with the bags and bags of cans and other things we refer to the local warming centers. I come to realize that people either want sobriety and a change in life or they just want things that they can get.
I disagree that ‘forgotten’ cannot or should not take a modifier. Surely something can be ‘almost forgotten’ in the course of everyday life. Even the classic unmodifiable word, ‘unique’, admits modification for emphasis, in my opinion, with the addition of ‘totally’ or ‘completely.’ (Not, however, ‘very unique,” which is always and everywhere unacceptable except in jest.) One can argue that these additions are unnecessary (and I would agree), but one could also argue that underlining the meaning in this way adds depth to one’s words (and I would agree with that, too.)
Best of luck with the new book. I’ll be looking forward to encountering the Buddha.
I loved Peter DeVries as a teenager (and high school colleague). My mother also had a wide ranging collection of fiction which I traipsed through at leisure. De Vries had almost a whole shelf. Must have been some in the Providence East Side water supply. Thanks for reminding me. Haven’t heard his name in decades. Shelley
Hi David. So very very glad to be able to read your work again . Over time I’ve learned to deeply appreciate and respect your views and the wonderful ways in which you can express yourself that are so resonant in today’s life. Even as a practicing Buddhist and Jewish observer and congregant I find deepest meaning and resonance. In fact I’ve also been characterized as a “Jew Buh UU”. I’m sure you recognize that last characteristic. If not I see you at Amy’s and certainly will clarify. Be well. Be safe. And thank you for your wonderful insights Diana Bander
Agreed. I've thought about that. Esp. Brave New World. Could be a found memory but pretty sure it's true. Good story anyway. Always nice to hear your cousin-ly voice from afar.
It's interesting how your posts on the unhoused in Brattleboro jibe with a lot of Buddhist stuff as well. When a writer writes on real things, you wonder how attached he or she is to the result and I see you are attached to the people you write about who are living out on the margins. Buddha talked negatively about attachments, but attachments to people aren't so cut and dry, especially when you know you might be able to help. It's a tough call.
I volunteer with and help people who are or were on the margins of their own lives due to addiction, and I often wonder who is there to really REALLY understand their stories. It's part of why I write my own Substack.
Hi Jesse: I started to reply to this at one point but don't think I ever hit send. So sorry if this is kind of a repeat.
Many thoughts, but I guess the biggest surprise for me when "my veneer of radical acceptance began to crack" was that it
1) wasn't about how people spent the money (I was a little rueful about how much dope I probably "bought" but that's all), nor
2) was it about how they seemingly kept recycling to the same situation. But far be it from me to project what their lessons are this lifetime. I'm not sure exactly if you were responding to that last post in the series [https://davidblistein.substack.com/p/56-i-need-a-break] where I basically itemized all the things that pissed me off about my friends on the street. Pissed off yes. But not particularly attached to that feeling annoyance. No, the real "deal breaker" for me was
3) Recognizing that there wasn't a degree of reciprocity in our relationship that I felt "I had earned". I knew they were lying. I knew they often used the money for dope. But it was the fact that I was, ultimately, just a guy who had money to them. In the midst of all my talk about how it's time to stop "othering" the unhoused, I myself was being "othered."
That was the real source of my resentment [i.e., indication of my attachment.]...that I wasn't special to them. Like I said. Just another "rich guy" who was "kinda okay"
Hey David I can relate to that. We often have people come in where I volunteer and they try and game the system by trying to hang out and treating our center as a place to get coffee and bum cigarettes off people. When we see people come in with the bags and bags of cans and other things we refer to the local warming centers. I come to realize that people either want sobriety and a change in life or they just want things that they can get.
Sounds great, David. I'm looking forward to Buddha's awakening when we need him/her most.
Art
I disagree that ‘forgotten’ cannot or should not take a modifier. Surely something can be ‘almost forgotten’ in the course of everyday life. Even the classic unmodifiable word, ‘unique’, admits modification for emphasis, in my opinion, with the addition of ‘totally’ or ‘completely.’ (Not, however, ‘very unique,” which is always and everywhere unacceptable except in jest.) One can argue that these additions are unnecessary (and I would agree), but one could also argue that underlining the meaning in this way adds depth to one’s words (and I would agree with that, too.)
Best of luck with the new book. I’ll be looking forward to encountering the Buddha.
I loved Peter DeVries as a teenager (and high school colleague). My mother also had a wide ranging collection of fiction which I traipsed through at leisure. De Vries had almost a whole shelf. Must have been some in the Providence East Side water supply. Thanks for reminding me. Haven’t heard his name in decades. Shelley
Hi David. So very very glad to be able to read your work again . Over time I’ve learned to deeply appreciate and respect your views and the wonderful ways in which you can express yourself that are so resonant in today’s life. Even as a practicing Buddhist and Jewish observer and congregant I find deepest meaning and resonance. In fact I’ve also been characterized as a “Jew Buh UU”. I’m sure you recognize that last characteristic. If not I see you at Amy’s and certainly will clarify. Be well. Be safe. And thank you for your wonderful insights Diana Bander
Well , you made me laugh so it can’t be all that bad.
Bring it on!
Can’t picture him giving you those two books…I wish I knew his thoughts while making the choice
Agreed. I've thought about that. Esp. Brave New World. Could be a found memory but pretty sure it's true. Good story anyway. Always nice to hear your cousin-ly voice from afar.