#8: Gimme Shelter.
It's complicated. Very complicated.
This summer, the weather maps in Vermont have often looked like this. My town escaped the devastation of the floods that descended on the middle part of the state. But we have had our share of violent storms.
This is the map from last Friday as I drove north on Route 91. The rain was as blinding as a blizzard. I was going 40 MPH and trying to decide whether to pull over. I began wondering about the things you wonder about in storms like this—were you about to hydroplane; would you lose power at home; which roads would get washed out.
I survived. Power interruptions were minimal. And, as far as I know, no houses were swept away.
I can’t say the same for the homes of my friends on the street.
The next afternoon I noticed Isaiah1 holding a cardboard sign. I had been hoping he was making enough money from his indigenous copper-wire stone pendants that he didn’t have to simply ask for money anymore. In fact, a whole Facebook thread had just appeared about life downtown in which several people talked about how great his jewelry was.
There were also, however, posts in which people complained about how he and Melissa crowded the sidewalk, their dog Jupiter’s howling was disturbing, and they should take care of themselves before trying to care for an animal.
Others responded by posting about what a great couple they were and encouraged people to check out his jewelry. They also explained that Jupiter howled because that’s how her breed communicates. Most didn’t know that Melissa and Isaiah had rescued her from horrific conditions.
So I asked Isaiah what was going on and he said that the storm had wiped out their tent, the shelter didn’t have any more at the moment, and he needed to raise money quickly for something to protect them from the rain.
Practically speaking, the most dependable way to “curate” your donations to people who live on the street is to give money to the shelter, food shelf, or other organization that provides direct services. On any given day, I might encounter a handful of people who are in need of food, shelter, and housing. The local service organizations encounter dozens of people in need 24/7. They know how to deliver practical help far better than I do.
Still, when you see someone in immediate need and you know the shelter is full and the food shelf is closed you might want to temporarily create what philanthropies call a “designated fund,” i.e., give some cash to a specific person.
So, I gave Isaiah the few singles I had in my pocket and was halfway down the street before I realized how ridiculous that was. I walked back and, pointing at the sporting goods store a few doors down, said, “Let’s see if they have any tents on sale.”
He looked down, like he couldn’t possibly ask me to buy him a new tent and said he knew a guy who was selling an old canvas one for $20.
I sighed. He and Melissa have already had one other tent washed away this year, and it was probably one of those old $20 canvas ones. Still, I gave him the $20 and said I hoped he could get it set up before the rains forecast for that night.
Later that day, I went for a bike ride and as I came back into town I saw him standing in front of a corner store. I asked if they’d gotten the tent set up. He told me it was sold by the time they got there.
So we walked a few blocks back to the sporting goods store, during which he told me how he could pay me back in part by making me a really nice leather seat for my bike. A leather seat on a new-ish gravel bike wouldn’t make much of a fashion or comfort statement. But I appreciated the intention.
We went in the store, checked out the heights of tents (he’s like six feet tall), and looked for sales. We chose one and he took off with the box on his shoulder walking in the direction of their campsite.
But I was a little worried about Melissa and Jupiter. I hadn’t seen them in a couple of days and, when I asked, Isaiah always talked vaguely about them being over there or up there or down there.
So I was relieved to run into her and Jupiter the next day.
She told me they hadn’t set the tent up the day before because they wanted to put it on pallets and she had just gotten permission to take some from a loading dock nearby.
I’ve never spent anywhere near that much money on one of my street friends. But promising to give half of new subscriptions to them has changed the calculus of these relationships. Plus, Isaiah and Melissa have been around for a while and I figure I have a decent sense of their story. I know that she had been an addict but managed to get clean. And he clearly has some serious mood disorder. I also knew they’d had some bad luck—it doesn’t take much these days—but they were doing the best they could.
Still, I realized that, for all I knew Isaiah and Melissa sold the tent for drugs and got one of those $20 tents.
Like I said, when you give money on the street, you can’t guarantee it’ll go where you assumed.
A couple of days later, I was talking to a couple who were just passing through town but seemed to have been here long enough to get a sense of the street. (She allegedly had already used Narcan on someone who overdosed in a public bathroom.)
I guess they’d seen me talking to Isaiah because the guy said, “He’s a scum bag. He’s emotionally abusive to her but she can’t get out of the relationship because she feels totally dependent on him. And he’s the one who’s probably an addict.”
I felt gut-punched. So much for my claims of always giving freely. Soon I found myself in the cycle of rationalization that I thought (and claimed) I was free of…
I’ll just make sure they set up the tent…I’ll ask around a little more to see if Isaiah’s really an addict…I’ll find some subtle way to confront him indirectly….still, it isn’t like I’m going to ask for the tent back…why believe those people passing through town, they undoubtedly have their own agendas…I’ll talk to Melissa just to get a sense of where she’s at…No I’ll find a way to have someone who knows what they’re doing check on her.
I’ve seen both Isaiah and Melissa with Jupiter. Crouching down to stroke her fur and whisper in her ear. All I can know for sure is that she is a really sweet dog and that they love her.
It’s complicated. Very complicated.
All pseudonyms…even Jupiter’s…
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